Before taking any legal action, make a detailed, specific list of everything you want to achieve through the divorce or separation, consistent with your financial security, your children's best interests and your life goals.

Financially it is important to get your papers in order. Critical papers include tax returns, pay stubs, bank and credit card statements, pensions plans,  health & life insurance and other benefits you and your spouse are entitled to, and copies of mortgages and deeds. It may be helpful to keep track of major purchases and assets acquired during the marriage. It is recommended to establish your own credit and open a separate bank account. It is important that you maintain your financial independence by not quitting your job and keeping your documents secure.    

If you have children, this time can be especially trying. It is important to give your children emotional support and maintain the continuity in their lives. If you want to have child custody, do not move out of your family residence without the children before asking your divorce attorney. Take care of your children by spending as much time as possible with them and be truthful and honest. Remember that the divorce is your problem, not the children's.